Being Healthy Doesn’t Equal Weighing 100lbs

I was called fat all through high school.

If you’re a girl (or even if you’re a guy) being called fat sucks… especially when you’re 14. Suddenly that’s what you’re defined by: fat. Everything you do, or say, or think somehow centers around you and your fatness. There’s no denying that if you call yourself something long enough, you’ll start to truly believe you are that way, or that person. So, I was fat… Fatty McFat Fat, and you couldn’t tell me any different.

I did those things that teenagers do like, stop eating for a few days…or only eat Cups o’ Noodles (which are delicious but not nutritious and also, a Cup o’ Noodles diet is the opposite of a diet). I’d listen to Michele Branch and cry myself to sleep at night, asking God why He made me fat.

I was a cheerleader. Ironically I was probably the most fit I’ve ever been. But I wasn’t a size 0, and therefore… I was fat. [one time I wore size 0 jeans, and then sat down and they ripped in front of my friends… friends don’t let friends try to fit into size 0 jeans, you guys]

Believing I was fat carried over into college/young adulthood. The feelings weren’t so pronounced but a little part of me still saw myself as a fat kid.

I’ve noticed, as women (and men), that we shy away from talking candidly about this subject (fatness). No one wants to admit that they look down on themselves, or that they struggle with weight or self image… but the reality is, most of America does. There is nothing abnormal about feeling poorly about your physical appearance. It doesn’t make it right, but you are definitely not alone if you feel fat.

Thankfully, in high school I never struggled to the point of an eating disorder… although I toyed with the idea once or twice [and even stopped eating for a few days… that was bad]. Instead I bottled up my fatness and let it eat away at my self-worth and confidence.

I wasted a lot of time worrying about what others thought of me. 

At some point somewhere around 21-23 I realized I wasn’t fat. I wasn’t (and am still not) a size 0… but, I can hike Half Dome, and run 5 consecutive miles, and I bike a few times a week. I realized fat people can’t do that.

Just me... and Half Dome. NBD

I’m not a vegan (I love me some meat, and carbs, and cheese) and I also love sugar (show me ice cream and I’ll show you an empty bowl) … but I also don’t eat McD’s for every meal.

I’m not a super model (I’m wayyy too short for that ish), and I wouldn’t pose for a magazine in a bikini (even if I was a size 0, I still wouldn’t do that). If I was standing next to a famous guy, he might not notice me… but that’s not what I’m striving for here.

You should strive to be healthy, but don’t kill yourself getting there.

People forget that being healthy doesn’t = being 100lbs. I know plenty of 100lbers that aren’t healthy at all… and that can be just as deadly as being fat. There is a chance that you aren’t built to be a size 0… no matter how hard you try, you will never get there (that might make you feel hopeless, but… don’t).

So if you look at yourself in the mirror and you’re disgusted with yourself, but you can still run a 9 minute mile… then you’re probably healthy. If you can walk up stairs and you only get a “little bit” out of breath, then you’re probably healthy. If you don’t eat McD’s for every meal, then you’re probably healthy. If you go to the doctor for a physical and they tell you that you are healthy, then you are healthy.

Don’t beat yourself up for being “average”. Think about it: if we were all supermodels and body builders, we’d all be average.

SOO thankful this isn't "average"

Is weight and self-image a struggle for you? How have you worked to overcome it, or what are you currently doing to put your mind at ease?


Girls, the 90s, & Vamps

Girls in the 21st century super like vampires.

When I was writing my last post & thinking about JTT, I started to wonder why my ideal man was JTT in the 90’s & girls now just want to date vampires.

—that is not hot. It’s mostly just terrifying.

Back in the 20th century, before the big technology scare of 2000… we had posters of these guys on our walls:

The Lawrence Brothers are sooooo dreamy.

JTT was always the best, but the others were ok.

Gahhh I love Sean (& Cory) but mostly just Sean!

My cousin liked Eric because he was “older”.

Bleached tips and vests, yum.

BSB 4 lyfe


DJ’s bf & the voice of Aladdin? Done.

Anyways, do you see where I’m coming from? Girls in the 90s had crushes on sitcom dudes and boy bands.

Girls in 2011 are a whole different breed of gurl. (comments reflect what I assume these gurlz think about these boyz)

Ladies and Gentlemen OMG it’s Edward “Glitter” Cullen

Nothing gets me going quite like a werewolf

These boys get paychecks from a show called “Gossip Girl”. xoxo

A 14-year-old from Canada with a fake TYSON tattoo? woof.

Another vampire.

I’m more of a Ron girl, but kids these days LOVE Malfoy.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that gurlz in the 2000’s want to date vampires and werewolves and wizards and boys who participate in a show called Gossip Girl and Canadian teen heart-throbs.

Gone are the days of wholesome laugh-track sitcoms with characters like Cory and Sean, or The Home Improvement Boys – they’d never stand a chance with today’s standards.

Gurlz today would be all: “You can’t do magic?… You’re dead to me.”

At some point in the last 20 years, it looks like gurlz became bored with the “regular” guy, so… good luck to you “regular guys” out there – if you aren’t a blood sucker, a wizard, or a suave 14 year old… I don’t think these gurlz want you.

Anyways, if you’re reading this and you can bring the sitcom boys back… I’ll be your #1 fan!

Who were your heart-throbs in the 90’s?